Don't bet on Graceland West. I was working in the Los Olivos area during the Staples event, and while talking with residents, it became clear there's vehement opposition to the possibility of Neverland becoming a major attraction—and these people have the money and connections to block it. Access is a major issue certainly, but one neighbor pointed out to me that there are two boarding schools that share the road leading to the property. When I heard that it gave me a chill.
–Duncan Denise

Dear Graceland 2.0:
Those residents might have money, but fandom can be quite powerful. Plus, we're sure Joe Jackson wouldn't mind somehow getting his paws on all the cash that would come from opening Neverland up to the public.

Dear Ted:
Did anyone else notice that when Michael Jackson's daughter, Paris, spoke at his memorial, not one member of the Jackson family comforted her? Oh, they pretended to, but generally they adjusted the microphone, hovered and got in the camera shot, but no one truly comforted the child who was obviously distraught. Hope someone steps up to the plate soon and continues even when the camera's are off.
–Cathy

Dear Poor Paris:
Were we watching the same show? (Er, I mean memorial.) She looked comforted onstage to me, but backstage may have been a different story.

Dear Ted:
Terry Tush-Trade is Ashley Greene—slim, hot and badass. Her bisexual lover is Jackson Rathbone and they were brought together by Catherine Hardwicke. Right?
–Monna

Dear Wishful Thinking:
Wrong! Close, though.

Dear Ted:
What's with your overwhelming hate for Nikki Reed? I've seen no proof for her doing anything for the amount of hate.
–Lostfader

Dear Nikki Knocking:
Obviously you're new to this site.

Dear Ted:
Although Breaking Dawn has some serious flaws, if the movie has to be made, it should be rated R. Maybe Summit can should do an R-rated Breaking Dawn and then edit some of the racier scenes to simultaneously release a PG-13 version. The under-17s can see the PG-13 version over and over, and if the filmmakers add some different scenes to the PG-13 version, the over 17s will want to see it too. Summit actually could make twice the money since all the fans eventually would see both, own both versions on the DVDs, etc.
–Diana

Dear Too Much Trouble:
Don't count on it. Why bother with an alternate film when everyone will go running to see the PG-13 version no matter what's in it? It could be Rob Pattinson staring at a wall for two hours and we'd still go. Twice.

Dear Ted:
You have lured me into the Robsten drama! I believe that you might be caught between how much info you can and cannot give out about their situation? It is very early on to tell, but recent pics of Kristen Stewart playing Joan Jett looks as though she might have a possible "bump" as we know she usually sports a flat stomach. So is this the "lady drama" you speak of and if this is proven to be true how would it effect the next two movies and their relationship? Would Rob Pattinson stick by her?
–Arabella

Dear Mythical Mama:
It's not true, as much as you want little Robstens running around. And Rob would do the right thing, which is whatever Kris wants him to do.

Dear Ted:
So what about the rest of Hollywood—is there anything gossip-worthy about them, too? I mean ones whom we admire but never really get to read about much, but would die to get the juice about. Was thinking John Cusack, Harrison Ford, Tom Hanks, and the likes of them... or are they too big to be hinted at being part of a BV?
–Han on the Run

Dear Mystery Men:
Most of them already got their Vices out a long time ago and have settled into a more domestic routine. Except for pathetic Sean Penn, of course.

Dear Ted:
Love the column—you're more enjoyable than a tall cup of coffee to get me through the day! Anyway, I'm a die-hard Arrested Development fan and have always wondered about Jason Bateman. Is he really one of the only child stars to make it through life okay, or does he also have demons in his closet?
—Megan

Dear Anti-Tatum:
Jase is either one of the lucky ones, or he knows how to hide it well. Jodie Foster's doing pretty damn well for herself, too, tho we can't agree with how she ended her last relaysh.

Dear Ted:
Can you please help a bit more by answering this question: Is Terry Tush-Trade a male?
–Rebecca

Dear Sex Searcher:
Male tendencies, yes.

Dear Ted:
What do you know about the Breaking Dawn movie? If you've read the book, you'll know that we are expecting a good movie...How close to the book do you think it'll be? I mean do we'll get the shirtless Edward and the perfect honeymoon?
—Sandripaty

Dear Well-Read:
I guarantee you'll get as much shirtless R.Pattz as allowed in a PG-13 flick.

Dear Ted:
Why do you think Judas Jack-Off and Dingle Dream going more covert is ultimately pretty dumb? I'd like to know more about your thoughts on closeted actors and how serious is this issue.
—Prena

Dear Explanation:
Better to zip it than to fake it, every time.

Dear Ted:
Why didn't M.J. leave his kids to Janet? She seems normal, as well as financially stable. Did they have a tiff that I'm unaware of?
—C in Akron

Dear Brothers and Sisters:
Janet doesn't want kids. Otherwise she would have had some of her own by now, since she's got the longtime man in her life and the means to support as many kids as Angie has. But I bet she'll continue to be a very generous aunt.

Dear Ted:
Is Emma Uh-Oh's ex-boyfriend into meth too? I have a feeling that he knows how "bad" it is and decided "breaking" up with her was his only choice. Thanks for keeping me informed!
—Alana

Dear Methed Up:
Tho he's certainly surrounded by the stuff while dealing in H'wood, he knows better than Em. That's why he couldn't put up with her anymore.

Dear Ted:
Do you still think Stephen Moyer is hotter than Alexander Skarsgård after looking at this pic? Hee hee.
—HSHSHSHS

Dear Vamp Love:
Moyer certainly does seem like a Smurf compared to Skarsgard in that pic! Let's agree that both dudes are way hot—but Ryan Kwanten's still our Rob of True Blood!

Dear Ted:
I enjoy reading your column although the haters have been unleashed lately and often I get really pissed reading all the stupidities they said. I really appreciate if you could answer me if Nevis Divine is from England or Australia?
–Latina

Dear Divine Digging:
What makes you think ND's Continental accent is from one of those places?

Dear Ted:
This isn't a question just a thank you for your Robsten reports. I am a married 30-year-old Twilight-addicted mom, and a Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart fan. I feel bad for the constant attention those two suffer for the fans but still find myself googling them daily. I appreciate your reports that give me enough info without invading their lives. Those two deserve a break! But please, keep me filled in!
—Nbrayman

Dear Robsten Anonymous:
I'm married myself and totally into Robsten. Welcome to the club!

Dear Ted:
Is M.J.'s family really grieving for him? I know this is insensitive for me to ask, but Michael Jackson's memorial was so grand, that I was actually offended by the spectacle. It felt like some were forcing themselves to cry. I don't know, it just felt fake at times.
–Dnnro

Dear Forceful Mourning:
I was simultaneously moved and disgusted by the whole thing myself.

Dear Ted:
I'm a fairly new reader of A.T. and love that you not only deliver the juiciest gossip, but also share bits of your personal life (the beautiful tribute to Butch ) and political views (Prop 8). I am dying to figure out the identity of Nevis Divine and hope you will answer this question: Besides his acting skills, is Nevis also known to be musically talented?
—Ange

Dear Divinely Goods:
He is, but that's not what he's known for.

Dear Ted:
Was wondering, since the ol' Harry Potter machine is roaring to life again, if any of the main three actors have ever been a Blind Vice?