Paris Katherine Jackson spoke publicly for the first time at her father, Michael Jackson's, memorial service today. And all I could think was: I wish her father were here to put a mask over her face.

The Michael Jackson memorial was a fitting tribute for the pop icon, but not the way most people think. Yes, people around the world watched. Luminaries from stage and screen paid tribute. But mostly it was a spectacle, a final (one hopes) commoditizing and packaging of a man whose life, self-image and even body were ravaged by the corrosive ambition of a family who pushed him into the spotlight and told him his value was in his talent and his ability to attract attention, and not in his inherent worth as a human.

The saddest part of the memorial was when his 11-year-old daughter, Paris Katherine Jackson, was allowed to take the microphone. I had seen it coming for minutes as the sweet and serious-looking little girl conferred with her aunts Latoya Jackson and Janet Jackson, who seemed to be pepping her up. "Oh, no," I thought, "They're going to let her speak."

There is nothing wrong with a child giving respects at a parents' memorial service. In fact, some might argue that it's healing to say a final goodbye, to put into words the massive blow that is the loss of a parent, particularly for these kids who had no other. The tragedy is not in the speaking itself, but in being thrust into the limelight. At 11, Paris doesn't have any more idea what the impact of being made a public figure will be on her life than her father did at that age. Once the line has been crossed, she can't cross back. Whereas a few weeks ago not many of us knew what she looked like, now her image has been beamed into a billion homes. We know that Michael Jackson keenly felt the loss of the "normal" childhood he wished he'd had. Love him or vilify him, we can all agree that he went to extraordinary lengths to protect his children from that same fate. Now they are suffering the double tragedy of not just losing their father, but of being handed over to a new set of guardians who don't seem to share Michael Jackson's concern for their privacy.

His family is grieving, and maybe they weren't thinking. Perhaps they thought they were indulging the girl in her desire to vindicate her father, calling him "the best father you can ever imagine." Or maybe they've all been in the public spotlight for so long they've lost the compass that would have let them know that the place for Paris to speak was at the private family memorial, not the made-for-tv extravaganza that was the Staples Center tribute. But as their grief subsides and they turn to the important work of raising Michael's children as much as he would have done so, I hope they remember that what he most wanted for them was that they be left alone.